Thursday, November 25, 2010

ten - i'm not falling apart

I woke up, sun gleaming in through the window. I sat up and already started feeling the effects of last night. I just smirked as i thought about it, and chuckled to myself as Mike came out of the washroom.

"What's so funny?" he asked throwing a shirt over his head.

"Nothing" I smiled shaking my head, "Nothing important"

I pulled my phone off the bedside table and saw a text from Cammy. I was gone all night, and he was wondering where I ended up. I replied back:

I'm with Mike

I tossed my phone to the end of the bed and he just smiled, "Okay...so are you coming home with me? Cause like I said I'm not--"

"I'll come" I said, "If you promise me that we're done with this"

"I promise"

"Really promise?"

He just placed a small kiss on my lips, "Really promise"

"Okay...I have to go back to Mike's...and get my stuff"

"You want me to come with you?"

"Um, you should wait outside..."

"If you say so" he shrugged.

I pulled my clothes on from last night and we walked down to Mike's place. I knocked on the door, and my heart already wanted to burst out of my chest. He wasn't going to like this.

"Hey Jules, what--why is he here?" the two of them glared at eachother for a minute until I nudged Cammy.

"I need to get my stuff..." I told him, "I'm going back home..."

"But, Julie I--"

"Don't argue with me, what's done is done"

Mike waited outside and Cammy helped me get my things together. It was silent until I zipped up my bag and set it on the floor, "Why?"

"Why what?" I sighed.

"Why are you going back with him?"

"I love him, you know that"

"You were set on getting over him, what changed your mind?"

"I was with him last night, he changed my mind"

I may have been a bit harsh with my tone, because the look on his face nearly broke my heart, "Mike, you know what happened between us...meant nothing"

He just mumbled something under his breath and looked back up at me, "What was that?" I said.

"It wasn't nothing to me..."

I took a step back and looked at him, "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, but since you got here, I've felt feelings I shouldn't..."

"Damn it Mike...that's not fair"

"I'm sorry, but it happens!"

I grabbed my bag and moved to the bedroom door, "I need to go"

"Please don't tell me you felt nothing, I know you didn't..."

I stopped in my tracks and turned around, "Don't put words in my mouth!"

"Oh come on Julie! I know you remember it clear as day, it was not nothing!"

I just sighed, "Maybe it wasn't exactly nothing, but you know what? He is the one I love, I don't have feelings for you Mike...I'm sorry" I walked to the front door and shut it behind me. Mike grabbed one of my bags and put it into the taxi he called.

"I'm sorry about that.." I sighed.

"What?"

"The yelling..."

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine" I said as he wrapped his arms around me. He just kissed the top of my head and let me into the taxi. As he sat beside me I intertwined my fingers with his and rested my head on his shoulder, "Thank you"

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me"

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

nine - when it's going good, it's going great

Mike finally convinced me to come back to the apartment to talk, Jen was out running some errands. I was so confused right now.

“You know this is a big deal” I said.

“I know…”

“I mean, a big deal Mike”

“It is…” he nodded.

“Can you say more than two words please? You’re not giving me anything to work with”

“It was just one of those things Julie, my emotions got the best of me, it was in the moment” he replied, “It’s not like it…meant anything”

That pause made something seem untrue about it, but at the time, it wasn’t really something that mattered. It didn’t mean anything, he said it.

“Yah…it…meant nothing to me either”

“I do love Jen, and I just think if she found out…it could be the end of us”

“I can’t keep this from her” I said, “She’s still my friend, even if she hates me forever”

“I can’t lose her…”

“But you’re willing to lose me?”

He was silent for a moment, I just gave him an ultimatum. I didn’t mean to do that.

“You’re making me choose?”

“Come on Mike, you really think our friendship can be the same after that? Even you said that”

“Um, I guess you’re right”

“I don’t mean to make you choose, but…I’m a terrible person…” I sighed.

“No, you’re not” he replied, “I can…see where you’re coming from, I guess”

“I don’t know what to do” I frowned, “Seeing Mike just threw me off”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“You know he’d probably try to kill you…”

“I doubt he would, you really think he’d put his career in jeopardy?”

I just sighed, “This is such a mess…”

“I know” he replied, “But it will be fine” he just reached out for a hug and I melted into him as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I really hope you’re right”

“I always am” he replied.

I looked up at him and smirked. He just laughed and let go of me. I sat down on the couch while Mike went to the kitchen to grab a drink.

“I bet you can’t wait to get back to training”

“I love the off season” he replied, “and I take it for granted sometimes, but I’m really starting to get bored”

I just smirked, “Well you won’t be saying that in a month’s time”

“You’re probably right” he laughed. I heard the door open and Jen walked in. My expression immediately fell and my heart started racing. She was so perfect. Perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect skin. The girl was absolutely beautiful, and I was just some average kid, with average everything and I slept with her boyfriend.

“I’m going to take a walk” I quickly said.

“You okay?” Jen asked.

“I’m fine” I replied, “I just need some air”

I shut the door behind me and walked as far away as I could. The guilt was overwhelming right now, and I didn’t know what to do, or even where to go at this point. I saw a hotel, and I immediately knew that’s where Mike was staying. I’ve been such a jerk to him, I could at least talk to him, there’s not really much harm in that.

I found his number and scrolled down to it, listening to the rings, one, two, three…

“Julie?”

“Where are you staying?”

“Why…?”

“Because I want to see you”

There was silence on the other end for a moment.

“Mike…please?”

“You know you’re welcome anytime Jules…” he said, “And I’m staying in the hotel the visiting teams always stay in…room”

I hung up and walked the few blocks down to the hotel. I walked into the lobby and walked towards the front desk. “Mike Richards” I simply said.

“Um…room 367”

“Thank you”

I looked around frantically for the elevator and practically ran into it and pressed the button for the third floor. I looked at the sign as I stepped out and ran down the hall to his room and knocked.

He opened the door, standing there in just sweats and a Flyers t-shirt. I didn’t say anything to him as I tried to catch my breath, he just stared at me, and I couldn’t help myself.

“Mike…take off that ugly t-shirt…now”

As if he knew what I was going to say, he pulled the shirt over his head quickly, without saying a word, and tossed it to the floor. I didn’t know where this was coming from, but I wanted him.

“Okay, are you--” I cut him off by pushing him into the room and shutting the door.

“No talking…”

He picked me up and threw me up against the wall. His lips landed on mine forcefully, but I liked it. We’ve never been like this with each other, not even when we were together. This was rough, hot, angry sex.

We peeled off each other’s clothes quickly and landed on the bed. Everything about this felt good, even if I didn’t plan on it coming here. Okay…maybe I thought about it, but I didn’t think it would happen.

His kisses were sloppy, his hands were everywhere, and heart was racing a mile a minute. I couldn’t even keep up with my thoughts at this point.

Our bodies moved together in perfect rhythm, and I’ve never seen him like this before.

“Oh my God…Mike…”

He stopped for a moment and looked down at me, “You want me?”

“I want all of you” I whispered.

“Okay…no more talking”

I just smirked as he went down on me again, I’ve never felt so much pain and pleasure at one time…

He pulled away from me, hot and sweaty. All I could hear was his breathing, “Holy shit…”

I don’t think either of us even knew what had just happened, I know I didn’t.

I looked over at him and all he did was lean in and kiss me, “I never knew you had that in you”

“Right back at you”

“So…what now?”

I just grabbed the covers of the bed and pulled them over me, “Can we not think about that right now” I said moving closer to him and resting my head on his chest.

I felt his arms wrap around me and kiss the top of my head, “If you say so”

Thursday, November 4, 2010

eight - i'm tired of the games

This may be confusing, but there is two Mike's in this story, in case you were confused haha. I know it wasn't my best choice, but uh...it was in the moment, and I didn't look back. So yes, enjoy!

Seeing him was surreal, it felt like a dream. I was finally starting to get my life back on track, and he shows up. Now what was I supposed to do?

“Jules?” I was sitting on the floor of my best friend’s apartment, bawling my eyes out.

“What?” I huffed.

“What happened?” he asked kneeling down to my level.

“He’s here…in Montreal”

“What?”

“I saw him, right in front of my face Cams” I said, “What do I do now?”

He sat beside me and I just rested my head on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around me to keep me close to him. I couldn’t stop crying, I didn’t know what was coming over me.

“You know, I was finally starting to feel better, I was getting over him, and then he shows up, just like that…”

“I know” he said quietly, kissing the top of my head.

My head was spinning in a million different directions, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know what to say. I looked up at Mike and his dark eyes were full of concern, he was so worried about me.

“Jules…”

“Yah?”

His lips suddenly brushed against mine and my heart stopped. I had to admit, at this point any kind of attention felt good, and his lips on mine…felt even better.

“Whoa…” I said quietly.

“Julie, I’m--”

“It’s okay” I said, “I think…”

“Really?”

He was just as confused as I was at this point.

“I don’t know what to think right now” I said, “But I need someone”

He just placed his lips on mine again, and I wouldn’t let him stop. This made me forget my encounter with Mike, this made me forget about all my problems, he made me forget about everything around me.

He didn’t stop at kissing, he went full out, and we did it, right there on his living room floor, and the entire world just stopped.

“Mike…?” I said pulling my shirt over my head.

“Yah?”

“Does this change everything?” I asked.

His eyes stared straight into mine, and I knew he wouldn’t lie to me.

“Julie, you know this changes everything” he sighed.

“Do you--” I heard my phone ringing and I grabbed it off the coffee table while I passed Mike his shirt, “Hello?”

“Hey Jules”

“Mike…hi. I told you I would--”

“I want to take you out tonight”

“What?”

“I…want to take you out”

“I told you I wasn’t ready right now Mike. I told you I needed time”

He just sighed, “I thought maybe--”

“Not tonight…maybe in a few days”

“Okay…I guess I’ll wait”

“Bye”

I hung up the phone and looked at Mike, my best friend. I just had sex with my best friend. Who has a girlfriend. Oh my, what the hell am I doing?

I jumped up and grabbed my jeans and put them on. He just looked up at me funny as he grabbed his own pants, “What’s wrong?”

“Jen…Jen, shit, I can’t believe I--Jen”

“Julie…”

“No, she was my friend, I just had…sex with my best friend, who is also my friend’s boyfriend, Mike…I…I’m such a mess” I sat down on the couch and stared at the wall, “I’m a mess…”

“Jules, it’s going to be fine”

“We have to tell her”

“No!” he said quickly, “we can’t…not right now”

“What if she--”

“Mike?” I heard Jen come in the door and my heart started racing. I couldn’t run now, I was practically living here. She would know something was up, how was I going to live with her?

“Hey” he said gently kissing her cheek.

“How are you Julie?” she asked with a smile.

I smiled back at her as best I could, “I’m alright…Mike’s here though…in Montreal”

“You saw him?” she replied setting her things down, “That must have been rough”

“It was…”

“You okay?” she asked.

I looked at Mike and then back at Jen. She was so sweet, and I had just done the most unimaginable thing to her. I stood up and grabbed my phone, “I need to take a walk, I’ll be back in a bit”

First I leave the love of my life to start over. Then, without warning, as I’m getting over him, he shows up. Then because I’m so distraught, confused and angry, I have sex with my best friend, who has a girlfriend, who is also my friend. I’m a horrible person.

I felt my phone vibrate as I walked out of the house.

“Julie, what happened between us…you can’t tell anyone”

“Fine” I responded.

“I’m sorry”

“Did it mean anything?”

“Let’s just talk about it later…”

I shoved my phone in my pocket and kept walking. I didn’t know how I was going to show my face in that house again after what I did. She took me in, I was her guest, and how do I repay her? I don’t think I need to say it again. This is just really bad.