Tuesday, February 15, 2011

eleven - is it ever gonna be enough?

Guys, I'm on a rolllllllll, so I hope you enjoy this update :)


The new season started up, and things were different. But they were good, and I was happy. Really happy. For the first time in a long time.

It was late November, brisk, but nice and the Flyers were on a roll. They had played their first game against the Canadiens since the playoffs, and were shutout 3-0. But, the next week the Canadiens were here, and it was a completely different ball game.

"Good luck tonight" I said giving him a slight kiss as we parted ways in the arena.

I decided to go to Starbucks before the game, there was still a couple hours and I didn't feel like sitting in the box for two hours.


I should have known slipping out the back way was a bad idea.


"How are you?"

"I'm really good" I replied, "And you?"

"I miss you"

"I miss you too"

"Are you watching tonight?"

I just nodded, "I am"

"Well, good. Maybe we can--"

"Mike, no"

He just sighed, "Fine"

"Good luck"

He walked into the arena and I walked in the opposite direction, taking a quick look back, at the same time he did. I pulled Mike's keys from my pocket, fiddling them before opening the door. He always let me drive his car before the game, he knew I wouldn't be able to sit in there for two hours with the wives and girlfriends.

I felt a couple raindrops hit my cheek and sighed. I knew it was too warm for November, "Julie"

I turned around quickly, almost as quickly as the rain started, "Mike, what do you want now? I told you--"

"It's been almost two months since I've seen you, and you can barely say hi to me"

"It's weird"

"You know I told her"



I shouldn't be surprised, but I was and the fact that he didn't have her holding him back made it easier for him to move in, "And?"

"She's gone Julie"

"So what?"

"I'm not losing you to him"

"I'm not leaving him"

We were already soaked from the rain, and the water streamed down his face, and his eyes wouldn't direct away from me. He scanned my face, waiting for me to say something else, but nothing was coming out.

"He doesn't deserve you"

"He needs me"

"And I need you"

Almost as quickly as the words came out, his lips pressed to mine and I couldn't let him go. I still felt the rain streaming down my face, and I could taste it on his lips, "Cammy..."

He just smirked, "I miss hearing that"

"Why'd you do that?"

"You have to know that--"

"I have to go, I need to--you need to--you have a game"

"Julie, I--" I opened the driver's side door and turned around to him, "You need to go" I started the car and drove as far away from this arena as I could. I couldn't watch this game, I couldn't watch either of them. I couldn't face either of them.

I went home and paced the living room floor. I eventually sat down, and turned on the tv to ESPN, at least keep an eye on the score. I fell asleep, for who knows how long.

"Julie!" I heard the door open, and Mike's voice was angry, and immediately my heart started to race.

"In here"

He came in and stopped for a moment, staring at me. He could see it all over my face, and I could tell something happened.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me!" his voice raised again and I sat back.

"Please don't start yelling again"

"Then tell me what happened"

"It sounds like you already know"

"Don't play that game with me Julie"

"What did he tell you? What happened?"

"He chirped me, at the game. We almost got into it, he told me you slept with him"

I swallowed a lump in my throat, "How'd he say it?"

"What does it matter?"

"How did he say it Mike!?"

"Did she tell you about us? How she fucked me after you beat her up?"

My heart sank and the look in Mike's face was hard to explain. Sadness, anger, jealousy, disappointment.

"I'm sorry. We weren't together, I was upset, and Jen was gone. I didn't cheat on you"

"You still slept with him"

"I love you"

"Don't try that on me, if you did, you wouldn't have gone to another guy"

"I was mad at you" my eyes were brimmed with tears at this point, I couldn't even stand up from the couch.

"When did it happen?"

"The same day you called me...and asked me for coffee..."

"I can't even look at you"

"I wouldn't be talking Mike"

He slowly turned around and cocked his head to the side, "Excuse me?"

"You know how many times I didn't go to the cops, telling them I was being abused. How would it feel for the entire world to know that Mike Fucking Richards is a woman beater?"

He stood in the middle of the room speechless for a minute.

"I love you Mike, you need to know that, but there were days I was with you where you could have--you could have really hurt me"

"I'm better now"

"I know that, and what happened with Mike and I was a long time ago"

"So there's nothing?"


"I'm sorry"

"Aren't you always?"

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