Mike, I thought about it, and I think it’s time we went our separate ways. We both know we’ll kill each other before we can be happy. You know I love you, and I’m sorry.
My heart sank as I set the piece of paper on the table. It hurt beyond belief, but I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way again. This is best for both of us, we’ll just end up hurting each other beyond repair if we keep at this.
“Are you coming?” I heard my best friend’s voice.
“Yah Mike, just one minute”
Cammy, the best friend I’ve ever had. He knew everything that was going on with Mike. I knew he would gladly let me stay with him and Jen. So I called him, and he was in Philly the next morning.
I felt a hand on my back and I nearly jumped out of my skin, “Sorry, but we need to go”
“Yah…okay”
As the car pulled away, I could feel my heart breaking. Mike just glanced at me and sighed, “Jules, I know it hurts, but you know this is best”
“I know Mike, I just don’t want to hear it right now”
The rest of the ride was quiet. The plane ride was quick. The ride to Mike’s, was quiet again. My head hurt, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I froze the moment I stepped in the doorway of Mike’s apartment. I couldn’t do this.
“This was a bad idea” I said.
“Julie…it’s okay” he replied reaching for my hand, “You’re going to be fine”
“But what if he--or what if--but--maybe he’ll--” I couldn’t even come up with a sentence.
“Jules” he said, “You need to come in”
“She okay?” Jen asked coming from the other room.
“Fine” I heard Mike say, “She just needs rest”
“No!” I exclaimed pulling my arm from his grasp, “I need Mike”
I ended up locking myself in the extra bedroom they had. Neither of them tried to fight me, they just left me alone, as it should be. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and immediately saw his picture and my eyes start to well up with tears.
“Mike?”
“Hey baby”
“Hi…” I did all I could to mask the fact that I was crying.
“You okay? You don’t sound like yourself”
“I’m fine” I replied, “Just not feeling good”
“I miss you” he simply said. By then I couldn’t help it, I just started sobbing.
“Jules…what’s the matter?”
“I left” I said amidst the tears, “I’m gone”
“What?”
“I went with Mike, I’m with him and Jen, until I get back on my feet”
“Julie! Why the hell--I thought we fixed this! I thought we were going to talk!” his voice started to get louder.
“I’m sorry, I’m tired of the fighting. We’ll end up hurting each other badly one of these days, and I can’t live with that”
“You know you make it way too difficult to love you sometimes!”
“Likewise!” I snapped back, “It hurts to love you, you know that?”
“You know what? Fine, if this is what you really want, then we’re done. There’s nothing more” I heard him hang up the phone and my heart officially snapped in half. Everything hurt.
“Jules…” I heard on the other side of the door, it was Jen.
“What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Do I sound okay!?” I replied, “I just lost him, for good”
“I’m sorry”
“Just leave me alone, please”
Still in full clothing, I tucked myself under the covers of the bed and shut off the lamp. Tears soaked the pillow, until the point where I couldn’t breathe anymore. He is really gone.
I now regret doing everything. I regret writing that letter, leaving, and coming here. I regret it all. I don’t care how much it hurt being with him sometimes, it hurt more without him.
No comments:
Post a Comment